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“Perhaps you’ve been hearing more about non-monogamy of late,” HuffPost recently wrote. If so, that’s because the media – such notable outlets as the New York Times, Time, and The New Yorker – seems to be making a coordinated push to normalize yet another perverse offshoot of the Sexual Revolution: polyamory, the next frontier of family-destroying sexual narcissism and cultural decline.
“Open relationships are having a moment,” USA Today titillated its readers. “Open relationships are having a moment,” echoed The Wall Street Journal. “Polyamorous relationships are having a moment,” chimed in The Guardian UK. “Plenty of folks would be more satisfied in a non-monogamous relationship,” blithely asserted HuffPost, which then pointed helpfully to “6 signs a non-monogamous relationship might be right for you.”
Polyamory, also known as “ethical non-monogamy,” means “love of many” and used to be known less formally as cheating, or unethical non-monogamy. But in a post-Christian culture that has elevated the narcissistic pursuit of “expressive individualism” to the highest moral good, being so judgmental is unfashionable and non-inclusive. So there is a movement afoot to legitimize sleeping around and openly admitting it, as a way to liberate oneself from stifling romantic exclusivity and to rip away the already-shredded fabric of conventional, middle-class morality that has sustained our civilization.
“It’s part of a whole modern trend of sexual and romantic expression,” gushes Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and paid consultant for the dating site Match.com, which owns the sex hookup app Tinder. How big a trend is it? The Wall Street Journal notes that
A 2022 survey of more than 14,000 Bumble users globally found that 16% of Americans have recently considered an ethical nonmonogamous relationship. And around one-third of Americans describe their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy, according to a February 2023 YouGov poll of 1,000 respondents.
And of course, there is a whole new cutesy lexicon to go with this burgeoning, soulless subculture. From The Guardian article “Still searching for The One when polyamory is more fun?”:
To be “polysaturated” means you’ve no bandwidth to take on extra lovers. A “one-penis policy” (OPP) indicates that a man is on board with his female partner sleeping with anyone who doesn’t have a penis. “Compersion” is the pleasure you derive from your partner’s sexual satisfaction with another, OPPs notwithstanding. (Here’s hoping that’s a word your “metamours” – your partner’s other partners – know the meaning of too.) There’s also “solo-poly”, which it’s tempting to translate as cad, albeit minus the gendered connotations.
Now you know. I research these things so you don’t have to.
New York magazine published a cover story called “Polyamory: A Practical Guide for the Curious Couple” in which the authors spoke to nearly 40 people who are in open relationships, some for decades. It’s tragic reading.
“Julia,” for example, told her partner “Matt,” the father of her child, that she wanted to act on a crush and explore her sexuality more. “We talked and cried for hours,” Matt told New York. “But I knew it made no sense to hold her back. I was like, I’m not going to get in your fucking way.” Eventually, Matt surrendered and told his wife, “I don’t want to hold you back from being yourself.” This depressing tale reveals quite a bit about relationships and masculinity in America today, none of it good.
Another couple told New York that they opened up their relationship after “Ari,” who previously had been “very territorial and heavily monogamous,” came out as “nonbinary” and “Misty” came out as “pansexual.” They then decided to “honor” each other’s “queerness” by openly sleeping with others. Call me old-fashioned, but it doesn’t sound like either of them is being “honored” in this so-called relationship.
And what about the children of those who are dishonoring each other in this way? Writer Molly Roden Winter said she and her husband never planned to tell their kids about their open marriage, but one day their 13-year-old Daniel found his dad’s online dating profile open on his laptop, and freaked out. Winter admitted to their open relationship but lied, “I don’t do it very often.” Four years later her younger son Nate similarly discovered cell phone pics of his father with a girlfriend, and panicked. Your dad “isn’t cheating on me,” Winter explained. “Cheating means you lie, and Dad and I always tell each other the truth.” Oh, well, that must have comforted Nate.
Winter later revealed that her son Daniel, who is now an adult, “recently confessed that back when he was 13, he’d been more upset about the open marriage than he’d let on.” And he had every right to be. Imagine how that disturbing revelation will shape Daniel and Nate’s lives and relationships going forward. Whatever “consenting adults” decide to do (and it doesn’t sound like some of these so-called adults were enthusiastically consenting), faking a solid marriage is an unconscionable betrayal of your children. Good parents put their children’s welfare first; bad parents put their sexual peccadilloes first.
Proponents of polyamory admit there is at least one caveat to all this selfish bed-hopping: HuffPost cites such “sex experts” as Zachary Zane, author of something called Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto (which sounds like the kind of book gender ideologues want to make sure is in every school library), who warn couples that are curious about embracing polyamory to “be sure your relationship is on good footing” first. In our benighted past, wanting to have sex with others outside your relationship seemed like a bright red flag that it was definitely not on good footing, but we’re much more evolved now.
The previously-mentioned Guardian article points out that all the media attention surrounding the New Sluttiness – er, ethical non-monogamy – means there has been a “key change in the positioning of consensual non-monogamy: what was once seen as a threat to the bourgeois institution of marriage is now being presented as its saviour.” As Daniel Frost and Robert P. George observe at First Things, this ludicrous approach to strengthening one’s marriage is akin to saying we have to burn down the village in order to save it.
The good news for our cultural sanity is that “there still is a huge stigma,” complains “Dan,” co-host of The Swing Nation podcast. “We’re trying to push back against the stigma, but it’s really hard to get things moving if you’re constantly battling that censorship.” News flash, Dan: if you have a podcast dedicated to your edgy sexual proclivities and you’re being quoted favorably on HuffPost, you’re not being censored.
What does all this shallow gallivanting mean for the institution of marriage, which is already under heavy assault in America today? It’s worth quoting Frost and George at First Things again at length on this:
As Western law and culture historically recognized, marriage is a two-in-one-flesh (“conjugal”) union of husband and wife. As a distinctive human good, marriage is an all-encompassing union. It unites a man and woman at every level of their persons: heart, mind, and body (for the body is part of the person, not just a tool). In this vision, sexual intercourse is not just a way of feeling closer to someone, different only in degree from other gestures of affection. It alone can seal a marriage, a comprehensive bond—by extending a total union of heart and mind (including total commitment) into the bodily dimension.
Pursuing sexual pleasure without total commitment undermines this human good many times over. It dishonors marriage by seeking a kind of illusion of total union—the connection of bodies without the total commitment of wills; a depersonalization.
They rightly conclude, “Everyone has a responsibility to promote a culture in which others are supported in understanding and acting on the truth.”
Polyamory may be the new sexual frontier, but it is not the last. It is just another stepping stone toward culturally affirming even more degrading and satanic practices such as bestiality and pedophilia. It is a sad truth about humanity that we are light-years more technologically advanced than ever before, but we still wrestle with our basest, most atavistic desires. In the absence of a healthy spirituality and sacred understanding of the purpose of sex and marriage, our culture has tragically degenerated from merely “secular” to “neo-pagan,” and now rivals that of the biblical Sodom and Gomorrah – and you know how that story turned out.
Follow Mark Tapson at Culture Warrior
I said this was coming next in 2015. No one believed me.
Polyamory is just another euphemism for sexual promiscuity.
Promiscuous people should be taxed at a higher level because of the medical burdens they place on the rest of society.
We need to reestablish laws against sex outside marriage that used to be almost universally on the books in every state.
@TomJarman1979
We have enough laws keep the government out of our lives.
It would not surprise me that many couples in Washington are into this. Release the flight list to Epstein’s Island.
“The world is not going to be saved by legislation.”
– William H. Taft, 27th President of USA
Well, there’s so much I don’t get these days and this is yet another. It seems to me that if you are married you have committed yourself to one other person and that is that. If you want to sleep around, fine, then don’t get married but, if you do, it isn’t really a marriage. Simple? Claiming you are married but having other partners would appear to me logically inconsistent. But what do I know?
This is narcissism at its worst
Polyamory is already here. While the legal consequences of adultery may be abolished, human nature in the form of jealousy can never be outlawed or willed out of existence by mere adherence to Marxist-Leninist tenets.
The battle right now is for the legalization and then mainstreaming and normalization of pedophilia, and soon after the demonization and criminalization of anyone who protests and claims otherwise.
“Hate Speech” laws will make objections to this flood of perversions a felony offense. This already is in force in places further down the road to national destruction than America.
Dark days are certainly on the horizon.
Without a moral plumb line or spiritual compass, reprobate miscreant living is natural. Such loss of guidance is also completely destructive to those given to it.
I have not regretted coming to Christ and the mind set of Christian discipleship 54 years ago. It has been a life of ‘stumbling forward’, yet a life of purpose and fellowship very much worth living.
It’s a sex orgy with a fancy name, for those ignorant enough to think polyamory is sophisticated French for polygamy.
These publications have been pushing lifestyles practiced by a minority of people, gay, trans, drag, non-binary, canine or karalla bear and attempt to make it appear mainstream. Now we have this newest variation. Why is that?
Every member of these groups I’ve ever met seem more than ready to promote and recruit everyone they meet.
Or is it that I just seem to attract them? Oh Crap!
Polyandry common with such Birds like Jicanas Phalaropes Painted Snipe and Spotted Sandpipers and now we come to this
This is viable option for the ~5% of men that women are intensely interested in, and any woman interested in polyamory. This is already the reality playing out in the current globalized dating/sexual marketplace (for lack of a better term).
The folks benefiting from the pre-sexual revolution monogamous paradigm were primarily the men women considered less attractive. Those men are now currently increasingly less sexually active and unable to find women willing to enter into either short or long term relationships with them.
When I was young, I had Hugh Hefner fantasies of having multiple wives. Now that I am older and wisher, I would not wish this on my worse enemy.
You can call it what you want, open marriage, non-monogamy, etc, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s cheating/adultery.
It makes me sad that’s so many people seem to think that this is what marriage is about.
Polyamory is a misnomer. Amor means love, and this is anything but.
The reality is man always cheated on his wife. Earther legally -like in many Muslim societies- or illegally in western cultures. Now that women can do it without the fear of getting pregnant. Makes it easier for everyone to satisfy his/her own animal desires. Which eventually will destroy western civilization once and for all. This is what happens when societies became too prosperous and all material possessions became worthless. Then people search satisfaction in sexual deviancy.
Where is THIS coming from? Dearbornistan? I can see that; Musulman gets four wives, goats and a boy or two for his satisfaction. If it’s good for Dearbornistan, what’s wrong with the rest of the country? Is the kuffar getting in the way of progress, or is it Satan? What’s next? Animals and inanimate objects? Time to put on our knee pads and start praying furiously for our Republic – what’s left of it.
You missed out Mohammed having sex with a corpse, to give her a better eternity. Aw, the selflessness of the man! Not.
Acceptance of polyamory is here and we will move quickly to other perversions. Pedophilia is making progress as a significant percentage of parents sacrifice the innocence of the children in public schools and pedo-homos sing joyfully about our children, we hasten the day of legal pedophilia.
Bestiality is common among many of the cultures now invading our border. Will PETA come to the defense of horses, chickens, sheep and goats? Will we be required to tolerate bestiality in the name of the equality of all cultures and the need for western toleration and sensitivity?
What is there after homosexuality, polyamory, pedophilia and bestiality? Oh. Maybe necrophilia?
We already have necrophilia – Mohammed did it, and his dedicated followers emulate him. There’s an article about it on the Raymond Ibrahim website. My guess is that part of the agenda behind the transgender movement is establishing that young children are qualified to make life-changing choices. Then no-one will be able to object if social media primes school children to demand a right to sexual relationships with adults.
Having only one partner in a relationship is trouble enough to maintain. Several? I try not to think of what a dysfunctional minefield that would be. Good look with that all of you virile sex machines.
As the old joke goes:
Q: Do you know what the penalty for bigamy is?
A: Two wives.
So, suppose someone in a five person polyamory relationship becomes extremely ill, like cancer, or a degenerative disease. I wonder who will bail out, and who will be devoted to the care of the severely ill person.
I suspect the other 4 healthy members will bail out because the only thing holding the perverts together is their narcissistic devotion to an orgasm. Morality and dedication to the well-being of another person is simply not a consideration, The human person in polyamory is merely a construct designed to satisfy the demands of the lower brainstem
Also, who is going to assume the financial responsibilities that are associated with and evolve from this polyamory depravity ? There are many other uncertainties and unpredictable events that need to be considered.
Once you start thinking rationally and practically about polyamory depravity, the more one should be scared to death of practicing it.
Next up, poly-STDs. Why settle for boring old syphilis when you could have chlamydia, HIV and gonorrhea as well?
This is just one more example of the counterfeit and perversion of any practice or belief promoted in the Bible to honor God and our fellow man or woman. Interestingly, the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. This practice dishonors all parties.
You hit the nail on the head! It all boils down to disordered loves.
We are living in our Book of Judges era.
Sexual liberation is not wokeness. Wokeness is puritanical, which makes it inherently sex-negative in how it approaches the human condition.
Wokeness has an objective morality. Whatever is deemed politically correct is held as objectively true until it no longer gets treated as such. Organized supernatural religions, many of which are now woke themselves, operate in the same fashion, as they always have.
Religions are all going woke to remain relevant as folks leave the pews; all major Christian denominations have already done this, along all non-Orthodox Jewish movements.
No sane Westerner should wish to emulate the theocracies in Iran or Saudi Arabia for a host of obvious reasons.