Children Choosing Religion
June 13th, 2007 · Notebook ·
I have often thought about the religion situation in our house and in our family as well. I myself am Atheist. Meaning I don’t believe in whatever it is the religious people believe in. Some of the people on my side of the family are (possibly) christian or jehova witness’s. Big Buff doesn’t know what he is. But I swear his family is jewish. All the stuff they “practice” if they do it all…it all points to being jewish!
So when I faced a question today of “what do you think your child will choose“, I honestly didn’t know what to think. I mean, children, even as they get older, tend to go with what the parents do. But it’s not always like that. Take my cousin for example. Her and her family (in the household) are witness’s. But (as far as I know) she was the the only one who actually practiced it by following it, going to the meetings and whatnot. So it makes me think, will Mini Buff go with his father’s side and do whatever it is they do as whatever they are? Or go with me as an atheist. Or go with my mom and not practice it but believe in it. So many ways to think and so many ways he could go. I can’t really say anything as a definate. We’ll just have to wait and see what he decides.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
I'm Jen, and I'm a twenty-five year old WAHM and freelance web designer. This is my personal weblog and mini online collective. Welcome! 
June 13th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
The religion thing is definitely an interesting topic. You’re right… most children do follow in the footsteps of their parents, but I think it is only if the parent impresses upon them their religion. My mom used to be Catholic, and her parents were both Catholic. She is Christian now. My dad is also Christian. My sister just recently chose to become a Christian, but I don’t think it was really because of my parents. She sort of chose that path for herself.
As for me, I’m not anything. Not even Atheist. I haven’t really chosen where I want to go with religion yet. I’m still exploring. I’ve a lot of Christian influence, obviously. Practically everyone I know is Christian, but there are a lot of things in Christianity that I don’t agree with.
*shrugs* I think if the parents are both open enough, and don’t push any one religion on their child(ren), AND the child looks into religion as he or she gets older, it is quite possible for him or her to choose anything. Me, I like studying religion. It intrigues me. Yet I don’t have a religion of my own. I’ll probably choose one someday, but for now I am content with exploring.
Hmm… Kind of pointless rambling. I felt like saying something, though, heh.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Hmmmm…if my kids choose what their parents are, they’ll be…well, confused!
Their dad is Taoist. But not a particularly religious one. It’s more like a philosophy of life kind of thing.
The two younger one’s biological mom (we have custody) is pagan. Which variety of pagan, I’m not entirely sure. Probably Wiccan, but no guarantees.
The oldest’s ex-step-dad was very right-wing Christian. The oldest seems to be following in those footsteps.
I was a practicing Christian (though much more liberal than my ex) for years, but now I’d consider myself an agnostic.
So who knows what they’ll choose. IF they choose at all!
November 8th, 2007 at 1:12 am
It is the parents’ responsibility to convey faith and belief to their children.
For that reason, my children were both baptized at the age of 3 months and raised in our faith. When they live in someone else’s house, they are free to adopt any beliefs they want, but so long as they live in mine, they will practice what I have taught them, participating in family traditions and rituals & respecting the rules of this house.
Although I no longer belong to a denomination because of the homophobia, misogyny, and bigotry displayed by mainline institutional churches, my faith has never been stronger and I still espouse many of the tenets of the denomination to which I belonged for 50 years. However, I adopt the pure form of those beliefs, not the politicized, lukewarm business model of 21st century organized religion.
Every parent should do what they feel comfortable with vis a vis their own family.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:48 am
The child should be warned in some way depending on the type of social induction he/she has to endure about mass delusion, social consensus, cults and possibly Stockholm Syndrome. Also, don’t leave out your own family situation because children are good at sensing hypocrisy. Remember, your role of authority over the child can contribute the most to convincing them to contradict you and find the holes in whatever extreme or absurd views you hold most dear.
November 8th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Interesting! I have never had to think about this because my husband are both Christians and raise our children that way.
November 9th, 2007 at 2:19 am
Or they might go a completely different way. My mom is athiest, but I was raised by my very Christian grandmother. Myself, I’m Pagan. I think kids just have to find thir own pathes in all of this.
November 10th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
It seems a lot of people raise their kids in their religion, so the kids don’t have that … I’ll say option … but only because it never crosses their minds. The reason for that being that their so into what they’ve been practicing, they don’t know that they have their choice of being something else.
November 11th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I agree one hundred percent with your post. My mom is semi-pagan, my dad agnostic, my little brother is veering towards the Christian side of things, and then there’s me, a Catholic. I do have family that is Catholic, but I pretty much chose it on my own. My mom has been very good about religion, buying me books about different ones and taking me to all sorts of churches when I was younger. I believe that all the information should be available and then the individual makes the decision to follow whatever religion they choose.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Sometimes atheism is but tiredness and jadedness in a world gone bonkers– or, yes, in imperfect individuals who beat the crap out of us in some way, or in people who seem more like sheeple.
So, let me ask.. what if God’s personal love is real? What if the God of all creation actively waits for you? What if Jesus bled for you, and for your children as well as for their grandchildren one day, that if we find Him no other way, we may find Him by the trail of His compassion for us, taking on our temptations, and our very burden, and carrying it out of this world, that we may also rise? And so much more..
To be honest, I have been a co-journeyer in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults), and I say that so that I can tell you I’ve truly heard people lament a lack of religion or observance in their households as they were growing. It seemed a wound to them.
November 14th, 2007 at 8:17 am
I agree with JustMe. I grew up in one of those households…mom a lapsed Episcopal and dad a sometime Christian Scientist. There was no religious observance or instruction beyond Christmas trees and one summer foray to the CS church. I was one of those kids who had a potent sense of God’s presence, but had no clue Who or What he was. To me, it was a wound. Spent many, many years searching. I guess the thing that I would say to an atheist or agnostic parent is to expose your child to the ideas of the great religions. Let them know why there are transcendent works of art hanging in the world’s museums, and why Europe is full of sublime architecture. Educate them about the little tribe of wanderers who heard a Voice in the desert. Share with them the ideas of Confucious and Buddha. Love them enough to give them a foundation upon which to choose. Try not to allow yourself to be too negative toward religion…I’ve noticed that some atheists/agnostics tend to focus only on the wrongs done in the name of religion, and ignore the great good. And for goodness’ sake, be honest about the failings of atheistic systems (communism, for one). People are hard-wired to believe–over 90 percent of the world’s population believes in a Deity(s). So, to deny that inborn yearning (whether or not it is genetic or spiritual) is to deny your child an intrinsic aspect of being human.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I was raised one way, but if you look at my family and all the different routes that were taken it would amaze you. I am different from all my brothers and sister. And am hopefully raising my kids to make their own decision. Because it is a very personal decision.
November 17th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
What can you lose if you don’t believe? Everything. What can you gain if you believe in God? Everything!!
Children are precious gifts from God, why wouldn’t you want your children to believe in something better than dirt when they die? Prayers for the children because they are the real victums of parents who are unbelievers …..
November 29th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
For me, childless at 61 by choice, and likely to remain so, this is an academic question, but I’d like to answer it because there are some important points as yet uncovered.
The most important one is the question of ‘critical thinking,’ the necessity of checking claims against the evidence and not accepting them simply because ’someone said them’ — even if the someone is Daddy. I consider this the most important skill someone can have, and would teach it to my children. If, with this, they still felt that a particular religion ‘held up,’ then, since it is their life, and since they are individuals, not ‘mini-me’s’ it would be their choice.
I’d argue with them, and explain my own position, of course. But another thing I would hope to pass on from my parents — who were Catholics — to them is that it is okay to disagree with Daddy. (Many parents are willing to engage in arguments with their children — as long as, in the end, the parents win the arguments. My parents weren’t like that, and many a time I’d leave the room shaking my head at their arguments which I could not accept, and we’d ‘agree to disagree.’ That they could accept this is just one reason why I consider myself luckier than anyone I know in having the parents I did.)
A second point. While I consider religion totally without any truth, I consider it both fascinating — in all its many varieties — and important to know about, since it is and has been an important factor in people’s lives and in History — both for good and for bad. I would want them to understand what people believe, and why, and would encourage them to read as much as possible in the field if they were interested. I certainly would suggest, as soon as they could get on the net, that they make the Internet sacred-text archive one of their favorites, and would provide them with books on any particular religion they showed interest in — and books that presented the religion in the same light with which believers saw it. (I’d also explain my own reasons for disbelieving in it, of course.)
Finally, I would hope they would grow up in a neighborhood similar to the one I currently live in in Brooklyn, where one religion might predominate — in mine it is Jewish, and predominantly Orthodox within the Judaism — but which would be highly mixed so they would, daily, come in contact with people of all faiths and none — and people of all backgrounds. (We have a substantial Muslim population, some Christians, and others whose faith I do not know. We have Asians — both South and East — blacks, Hispanics, whatever you want, we got at least one of ‘em.)
But this is all academic. I do not consider myself parental material, and neither my wife nor I have ever wanted children.
January 5th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Thanks so much for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at Pajama Mommy Community! Be sure to drop by and check out some of the other wonderful entries this week!
January 16th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I came across this site while doing a school project. I just have to say this; I am 19 years old and raised in a purely christian family. My Grandfather is a pastor and my Parents are missionaries. Your child will definitely have to choose a religion for his/herself, and I think that whatever religion they choose, you should accept that and embrace it. I have always mimicked my parents beliefs, but as I get older and am now on my own, I find myself making my own choices, even in big area’s such as religion. I am still a christian, but instead of living my Parents beliefs, I am making them my own. Life is hard to understand, so just support your children as they grow
July 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“Children are precious gifts from God, why wouldn’t you want your children to believe in something better than dirt when they die? Prayers for the children because they are the real victums of parents who are unbelievers”
Children are precious gifts from God only if you believe that God created them. This is what you believe, however, others may not. Simply believing there is something in the afterlife does not make it so. Believing you have no immortal soul does not mean this is the reality either.
Why pray for the children of non-believers? How are they victims of their parent’s lack of an affiliation with religion? They are only victims if for a fact you can prove that God would damn them to eternity for not being Christian.
For that matter, what of people living in isolation in the jungles of SOuth America or islands around the globe? They know not of Christ or his alleged ascension, so how can they be held accountable for not having recieved the memo on God? I find it hard to believe that one could lead a virtuous and selfless life only to be sent o Hell because you did so without a ritualized faith in God.
Jesus taught that tolerance and compassion should be practiced in all things. I consider it likely that God himself would probably practice what he preaches.
jonb’s last entry was The Challenge of Single Mom Dating